Parental Digital Corner: Cell Phone Monitoring
By Ms. Janice Nass, LCSW
Do you ever say, “Since I'm paying for it, I'm entitled
to read my kids' texts, check their call logs, and know who their friends
are?" Most of us have at least thought this way at least one time or
another. We also know too however, that our teens consider their phones to
be as personal as diaries. So how should a parent proceed? Spot checks are a
good idea. You know your teen best. If you sense something isn't right,
spot-check more often. Explain that your rules are for their safety and
protection and that you need to be able to make sure they're using their
devices appropriately.
The major cell phone service providers (AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, and
T-Mobile) each offer add-on packages for a fee that let you keep an eye on
things, including monitoring usage (you can have their phone shut off during
certain times of the day for example), managing access to features, and
tracking the location of the phone. Also, third-party software programs such
as TeenSafe, WebWatcher, and PhoneSheriff, which you install on your
computer, can show you texts, website histories, photos, and more.
No monitoring service is 100 percent reliable. The programs require you to
enter some of your teen’s log-ins and passwords to track the phone's
activity, and your teen can always change passwords on you or sign up for
services you don't know about and can't monitor. They also can make your
teen feel spied on, which can lead to sneaky behavior. And if the phone is
off or discharged, its location can't be tracked. Try talking about
responsibility and appropriate use first and consider the monitoring
programs as a backup or extra insurance.